The Remembering Part 1

My Human Experiences

My definition of Karma is the experiences I arranged to have for my human incarnation. Some of these experiences were adverse. Others included becoming a mother to four children, two girls and two boys. Experiences of both kinds can produce spiritual enlightenment as we progress from separation to one of empowerment and in full Creator mode.

My karmic experiences include growing up in a dysfunctional home with physical abuse from my dad to my mom, myself, and my little brother. My mom married my stepdad, and he also physically abused my mom while abusing drugs and alcohol. My mom became an alcoholic herself, trying to cope with her karma. After we were in a safe-ish environment, along came the relative who sexually abused me. In addition to the karma from my experiences growing up, I was also “weird and different”.

The karma of being different is one of the commonalities of this group we are in today. The very first post in Cindy’s group is about our common karma. I subconsciously hid who I was and tried to blend in with others here on Earth. I tried to blend in, but I also blocked my clair abilities. My karma was learning to accept myself as the highly vibrational and unique individual I am and to shine authentically.

I had many problems asserting my boundaries and processing the emotions I created from my human experiences. While I was raised in an environment where screaming was the norm, I preferred to suppress the emotions I created, which I had difficulty processing, into my physical body and my light body. I agree with many here who believe we are perfect, and indeed, we are. Coming to Earth to experience being human involves feeling the emotionswe create in a dense vibrational form. Feeling and releasing these emotions allow us to gain a subjective perspective on what the experience means.

After a failed marriage in which I took responsibility for not having a healthy, balanced frequency, I decided to walk away from it. During this painful time, I began to notice or pay attention to some “knowing” events that happened to me. One occurred after I had woken up and knew I needed to get divorced as soon as possible because something good in the “love department” was coming for me. I should add that I didn’t have any clue about my clair-abilities. Three days after I divorced, I put my profile up on OkCupid, and out of 88 replies to my initial posting, I met the man I was foretold I was going to meet. We fell in love and are still going strong.

Since I had a lot of trauma from growing up, I had continuous nightmares of all of the events I didn’t process. I didn’t realize I was hanging on to them. My fiance woke up each night to me crying in my sleep because my dreams were the one place I couldn’t ignore my pain. We were together for four years, and I was still having nightmares every night. I woke up to one after my fiance had gone to work early. I was livid. I didn’t know how or why I had these dreams, but I yelled out for them to get out of my head and that the nightmares were no longer allowed to exist in my reality. As it turns out, my nightmares were unfinished business(karma). My nightmares ceased immediately, and I followed my intuition to heal from my trauma spiritually.

Feeling is Healing

The first order of business was to think about each event and what emotion(s) I had created from this. I dealt first with the sexual abuse. I should add here that I didn’t have the training I have now, and I believe that my angels dropped each step into my head so that I could go through this process. I counseled myself, and with each emotion, I asked myself why I had this emotion and for ones like shame and anger in which I was angry with myself. I felt them and allowed them to leave because it didn’t make sense to me to hang on to them. ( as a PhD type doctor, I know I was energetically linked through my emotions to these past events). My breakthrough came with the forgiveness part.

Forgiveness was something taught to me in Sunday School. Say the words, and the magic happens. However, I could say the words, but my heart wanted to see the people who hurt me suffer. I did know somehow that if I could feel peace and love, my heart would follow suit. I intended with a LOT of intent to feel forgiveness in my heart. My favorite Bible story is the one where Yeshua(Jesus) was talking with people, and he felt his power leaving his light body. He looked down and saw a woman touching his robe. He insisted on knowing why she did this. She said that she was suffering from severe and constant menstrual bleeding and that she believed she would be healed if she could touch his robe. Yeshua told her that her belief had healed her, and she went on her way.

I had a similar belief about the Dalai Lama. I had heard from people who had met him that Peace was palpable in his presence. I wanted to meet him, but I seemed to always find out after the fact that he was in Madison, Wisconsin, USA. One day, I spent the morning cleaning and sat down to check Facebook. A news article mentioned the Dalai Lama was 25 minutes away from me. I calculated I would miss him again and miss a chance to feel utter peace. Then something unique happened. I felt a cloud of peace approaching the house. It moved into our condo, and the vibration remained for several days. I felt absolute Love coming from this frequency permeating the house, and I had such clarity. I could see that my response to the adversity in my life was my energetic cords linking me to the events, and my retribution response was also why I wasn’t feeling peace, love, and forgiveness. It made total sense to me. After several days, this cloud of love left, and I desired to have it back. Because of my clarity, I felt true peace and love and forgave. I forgave the people who hurt me and also myself. The frequency of love and peace returned instantly to my light body. I thought I had reached Nirvana of some sort and began to have fun in my life. I think this was in the Summer or fall of 2014.

During the third week of January 2021, somebody(angels again) reached out to me through the knowing in my morning dream. This dream was filled with metaphors and tarot symbolism. In the dream, I recently bought a mansion. The mansion was on auction and worth 6 million US dollars, but nobody wanted it because a man had been killed, presumably by his girlfriend, who was a person of interest. I swipe it for 1.5 million a rare deal in which I assume the entire contents of the house including his belongings. My daughter and I tour it after getting the keys.

My daughter is disgusted by the blood on the mattress and pretty much all the old people’s belongings while I am busy looking for treasure. She finds a hidden staircase that winds up to a tower, and as we ascend the stairs, I come face to face with three cats: 2 black and white, all with green eyes. I felt instantly sad that no one cared for them, so I cleaned their litterbox and the floor and gave them food and water. I determined these cats came with the house, and they would now be an exciting part of my new home. I continue to look at this hidden room filled to the brim with Christmas merchandise. Christmas is indeed my favorite holiday. The dream ends here with a knowing message. If you figure out your purpose, this could be yours. I laugh now because I took the dream literally.

A week later, I started seeing elevens. After a week of continuously seeing elevens, I felt they meant something. I remembered one friend on Facebook talking about angel numbers, and I looked up information about them. Within days, I could feel a clock ticking and knew it was counting down. I didn’t know to what, and I assumed it meant I needed to figure out my purpose(which I thought was a career purpose) really darn fast. I also had continuous references to Australia.

I found an angel numbers site that had angel oracle cards and said to whomever that they could talk to me through the cards. I also started paying attention to the thoughts in my head. When I took a bath in the morning, I was relaxed, and when I thought of a question, I could feel myself thinking it on the left side of my head. I started receiving answers, and those answers felt like thoughts, but they were on the right side of my head. I could now tell the difference between what I was thinking and receiving from spirit guides.

Several months later(August 2021), I thought I wanted to sell t-shirts on Etsy and purchased all the equipment and sublimation printers. About four weeks after this, I realized that would not be something I wanted to do long-term. I remembered that when I healed and felt peace and love all those years ago, I said I would write a book about healing. This is when the countdown timer stopped. As soon as I decided to write the book, opportunities fell into place. A friend on Facebook that I didn’t know invited me to her group. It was called Finding Your Badass Life Purpose. I laughed pretty hard and joined it. I learned there are clair abilities, and I recognized the two I use the most. (Clair-knowing and feeling.)

I joined classes where I could practice my intuitive abilities and I have the entire list of them here.(Click that link to see them) I also joined a meditation group and practiced. Since I had these skills already prior to incarnating here on Earth, I picked them up pretty quickly again with practice. The other really important thing I needed to do was to stop blocking myself from trying to blend in. This was super important to opening up to becoming authentically me. It was also important to unlocking my spiritual senses(those clair abilities).

As I went into meditation, I intended to receive information about steps I could take to heal. Healing for me was about processing my emotional response to the adversity I signed up to experience in my incarnation. I AM PERFECT and as a perfect light being who was now human, I had human emotions. These are normal. I had trouble processing them and allowing them to flow. I suppressed them because fear and anger were not my natural state of being(frequency) so feeling these emotions felt icky.

To be Continued….Part 2~ 3 Days of Darkness and Whoosh.